Spidercamp

the biscotti manifesto

- don't cry if you didn't get any

- sorry if you get a bag of dust

- sorry if you get a bag of stale dust

- do you like how i used priority boxes, camouflaged them, then sent the packages priority anyway? yeah i'm an idiot

- best dunked in a hot beverage, i recommend coffee though i know some of you are more tea

- pretty ok eaten dry, don't break your teeth on the chocolate ones though

- the chocolate ones are chocolate, the tan ones are cinnamon-almond, the tan ones with specks are cinnamon-almond-cherry

- not to tell you how to eat, but seriously the almond ones are pretty fragile and WILL turn your coffee into mud if dunked for more than a moment

- the ones with broken ends are not pre-nibbled i swear

- i will gladly share recipes, they're easy to make, even the giada delaurantis one that fucking lied to me SO HARD, but i rescued them from sucking because i rule

- i wanted to send you 50, i wanted to send tasty things to everybody i know, this is what i will do when i am a billionare, god you guys are all gonna eat so well

- oh yeah, if you don't like them, don't be afraid to say so (really) - it will be a sad fact, but my feelings won't be hurt, and it's the only way for me to learn what not to send you again. plus i wouldn't bother sending it to people who wouldn't apppreciate the thought alone.

so many fine chicks, shit's gettin monotonous, but still i love the way that she shakes her maracas

dude rhymes "hot as hades" with "lot of ladies." what is not to love:

Rhymefest - Fever

some sad dude apparently named "D" covering beyonce on acoustic guitar:

D - Irreplaceable

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel (!!!) - You Really Got a Hold On Me

that shit's golden girls, that aint golden gloves

jesus! simmer down tiger

brother ali - original king

brenda wood, on the changeable weather

"Unfortunately, we've had all this loss of life, and then we've got all this sunshine to enjoy. So it's sort of a mixed blessing."

screw it, i'm renaming this whole thing "weird shit that happened at the post office"

this one guy storms in and wants to see the postmaster, which, i cannot ever stop my brain from supplying "flash." he says his fiancee was assaulted in the parking lot yesterday and he wants to talk to whoever's in charge of security, etc. he says he is tired of all those homeless guys always hanging around outside.

this is of course a complicated issue but i can certainly see where he's coming from; any guy whose woman has been attacked gets to be furious and say whatever he wants. my issue is not with the sentiment, it is with his phrasing. because he did not actually say "homeless guys," or "men," or "shitheads." he said, "turkeys." his woman. got jumped. and the worst he could come up with was "turkeys." dude this is why swearing was invented, go for it!

then a guy comes in, at first i really think this is matt from brooklyn! but it's not, it's some french guy with his kid. the two of them could not have been more mismatched. dad in goatee and scholarly sweater / kid in red hoodie and trackpants.

the kid, who can't be older than 4, leans against the wall, crosses his sneaks, puts his hood up and jams his hands in his pockets. PUTS HIS HOOD UP. inside. and slouches it forward so i can only see the lower third of his face, the sulk. just gangsta as fuck, like any minute now he'll give me the upnod and sell me some weed. i'm 8 times this kid's age and he's got me so beat on coolness.

unlike most ladies i have never been automatically swoony over french, but somehow, from goatee + sweater + very earnestly speaking to his kid at great length, it was pretty all right? so this musical language is tumbling out of him and the kid's just nodding, nodding, so serious, so street.

finally the kid says, "i dunno, i always thought luke skywalker was pretty stealth."

atmosphere - watch out

laura veirs - galaxies