Spidercamp

of course i don't mind. here's why i don't mind.

Before I ever knew her, I watched Andrea's house burn down. Years later, when we met, I didn't want to mention it, but it was one of the first things she said, matter-of-factly: So, you saw my house burn. She said it was strange, that one of the things she remembered the most vividly about that day was not the fire itself but someone she didn't know very well, holding her for a long time.

Later that night I did something very foreign to me; I told her how my life was crumbling. It was easy to talk. She said, I know we don't really know each other. But do you want a hug?

I really, really did. And then I knew Andrea.

of course i prefer this version

but the (miley cyrus) original is not NOT catchy, and i liked how some blog described it: "sometimes the disney machine just gets it right."

party & bullshit in the usa - notorious b.i.g. vs miley cyrus

have i ever felt better? i don't know

I didn't get scared until the very end, which surprised me as I know my own habits. I was ok until I was lying on the floor of the nursery, surrounded by all this stuff with Edward's name embroidered on it. I felt the panic start rising up. Then the phone rang and it was my brother, who said, "guess what?" and he had the sense to put his newborn son on the line. He put him on the phone. Yelling. And all i could say was oh Noah, that's just so good.

i love you guys but PLEASE STOP

i am having a family thing that requires me to keep my phone on, and also am having world recordinsomnia so i am trying to catch sleep where i can, but CANT because the phone is ringing off the fucking hook nonstop. today there was a 5 hour window where i could have slpt, but i got only 20 min of sleep because of phopne.

i dont want anyone to feel bad and i almost didnt say anything but ten minutes ago i came maybe the closest ive ever come to being killed in an accident and it was because i was hallucinating.

please dont call, please dont text. it all makes the phone ring. email or let me get in touch with you in a couple of days. sorry to be a bitch, it's just too much and i cannot handle 435 things at once.

how to feel better:

1. have the best friends in the world.

it pains me that there are no rap songs about this OG

Many, indeed, were the loves of Vidocq. From earliest adolescence they flocked round him, and he went on loving to the end. Before he was sixteen he had numerous affairs with girls in Arras. His attempt to get to America had to be abandoned because he met a villain who invited him to supper with a couple of women in Blankenberghe. Ardent and gay, young Francois tumbled into bed with one of them, but when he woke up the bed had gone. And the bedrooom. And his money. A forest of masts rose about him and he was lying half-naked on a coil of rope on the quay. He did not allow this to prejudice him against the ladies.

"Vidocq, A Biography," Philip John Stead

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DJ Quik - Get Down

to people who are trying to find me

please use email not phone. i don't pick up if i am unsure of the caller.

today i got to use the word "usherette" when talking to one of the four people in the world i want to impress. DOMINATE

biscuits and gravy indeed

I hid in the stacks to spy on the security guard and a homeless man, posed identically: feet up on the table, hands clasped behind head, chair tipped back.

Bracketed by two minutes of comfortable silence on either side, this was their entire conversation:

security guard: Sausages.

homeless man: Sheeeiiiiiiit. Biscuits and gravy.

--

I'm crazy about the book angel. I was afraid to talk to him for like three years but now we get along famously and he has started casually swearing in front of me, which I'm a true sucker for. I thanked him for a favor and he said "well that's what the damn things are for!" There was no need for that swear and I adore the crap out of him for it. He's wee and knows things about Jimmy Cagney; what is not to like? We were joking and then he took the wind right out of me, in a good way - he said, "I'm just glad I could do a small thing to give you some happiness. With my many imperfections."

These are never dreams anymore: the angel of books did me a favor.

He tweaked his computer to allow me to do something harmless but mildly illegal. I don't know why he did it, but he was delighted; he said "don't tell anyone, and don't get spoiled." I found out his name, and it's perfect. Then we talked about Paul Muni. Altogether it was almost as good as the time he touched my face in the parking lot with white petals whirling all around us. You guys, I have a weird-ass life.

i hope you enjoy this sort of thing because this guy is all i think about

(Now working with the French police force, Vidocq nabs two criminals and persuades them, via a fine meal, to rat out their accomplice. In disguise, he visits the third man and tells him of his friends' unfortunate arrest.)

When they were seated at the table, Pons-Gerard asked who had caught them.

"Vidocq," said [Vidocq].

"If ever he comes my way, I'll give it to him," said Pons-Gerard, pouring out the wine.

"You wouldn't," said Vidocq, "you'd do like the others. You'd say nothing and be the first to give him a drink."

"I'd give him a - !" said Pons-Gerard.

"You'd give him a drink," said Vidocq, "and good wine, too." He held out his glass to be refilled. Pons-Gerard poured.

"I'd die a thousand times over first," he said.

"Die when you're ready," said the Head of the Sureté. "I am Vidocq, and I arrest you." The agents jumped to secure the prisoner and the brawny assassin offered not the slightest resistance. The transition from the sphere of cordiality which Vidocq was so expert in creating was so abrupt that he could hardly believe it had taken place.

p.95, "Vidocq, A Biography," Philip John Stead